When Your Trauma Becomes Your Superpower
Many of us grew up dreaming about having superpowers. We imagined being able to read minds or walk through walls or having superhuman strength. Those of us that grew up in abusive or neglectful homes may have even fantasized about having those powers to protect ourselves and others. But for better or worse, none of us were bitten by a radioactive spider or discovered latent powers when we hit puberty.
That said, if you were raised in an abusive environment or even if you weren’t but suffered a traumatic experience or perhaps a depressed parent, you likely developed a skill or set of skills that helped you cope or survive your childhood.
This could look like having near clairvoyant abilities to anticipate people’s needs before they even realize they have a need. Or perhaps having exceptional skills at planning or preparing for a trip because you’ve anticipated not only your needs but the needs of those around you. Maybe you are exceptionally patient and loving when everyone else would have already given up. THIS IS YOUR SUPERPOWER!!
For you, it may not look like much because you’ve been doing it your whole life, but to others, they are in awe of your patience or preparedness. To others, it looks like a superpower because it goes far beyond anything they can do naturally. The reason why you are so good at this skill or a handful of skills is that you needed them to survive during your childhood. If mastery of a skill requires 10,000 hours of training, it would take just a couple of years of reinforcing a behavior as a child in order to master it. Not to mention you are more neuroplastic as a child, meaning your brain is able to be more malleable and learn when you are young.
Have you identified your superpower(s)? If so, and you now know that you are in possession of superpowers, what do you do with them? Much like the superheroes of Marvel and DC Comics, with this great power comes great responsibility. Your superpowers likely came at a high emotional cost and unless you’ve done some personal work, it is unlikely that you are able to turn them off. This can look like being too patient and loving with people to the degree that you can’t hold boundaries and neglect your own self-care. Or being unable to do anything spontaneously because you have to prepare for every scenario and you get annoyed when people tell you to relax and it’ll all be fine because HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE?!
Your responsibility in this scenario is to yourself. Whether through personal or group therapy, self-help books, friends, or other avenues, it is incumbent upon you to find a path toward healing the trauma that created your superpower. Peter Parker had to learn how to control his spidey skills and Cyclops had to learn to rely on his glasses/visors to keep him from burning everything and everyone around him.
Your superpower is truly only a superpower when you choose how and when to use it. Otherwise, it is a liability that is impulse-driven and controls you. Your superpower can become your greatest asset when you know how to harness it.
So put on that cape and your superhero tights and start saving yourself so you can save the world.
If you would like to work with me I am accepting clients based in the state of California for telehealth. I’m an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT #131631) practicing under the supervision of Pam Shaffer (LMFT #91321).